Author Archives: msnewleaf

It has been ten days since I last posted. I just wanted to surface and say, “I’m OK!” I have been unbelievably busy for weeks now, but I finally have 5 glorious days off from work and kid’s school commitments. Whew! Super tired because we were invited out at the last minute for a kid-and-parentContinue reading “Day 85: still here!”

Yesterday, I had the most ridiculously hard cravings to drink. I couldn’t believe it. I had just finished telling my therapist how great I was feeling and how easy it was not to drink now, and then by the time I got in my car, I was dying to drink! Out of nowhere. And itContinue reading “The Sneak Attack”

I had the worst insecurity dream last night about work. I was given a dedicated office space (instead of the cubicle I have now) when some people left our work and new people were hired. I was excited about it until I realized that I was moved into a closet-sized “office” space they made forContinue reading “Day 72: the hideous dream”

I live in a big city full of people that seem to mostly keep to themselves. It can be kind of lonely sometimes. Particularly in the middle of winter when it gets dark early. I have my family, of course, and my downstairs neighbors are close friends, but sometimes I just wish that we hadContinue reading “Loneliness and making changes”

Well, I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop, and it hasn’t so far. I’ve been consistently feeling very good for a couple of weeks now with no black clouds in sight. I haven’t had the horrible “witching hour” cravings for ages now, and while I still have a craving now and then, it’sContinue reading “Day 62: Still good things!”

I have been having a really good week, and I thought I should write down the things that are good so I will remember when I feel blah again. Here goes: I feel much, much better now than when I was drinking. I have energy just buzzing from within. Really, sometimes it is almost uncomfortableContinue reading “All good things…”

Finally! It is Saturday (day 57!), and I can sit down to finish a post I started last Sunday. My weeks are so crazy busy that all I can do in the evenings after work is get everyone fed and collapse into bed with a book for a bit before my (very early) bedtime. But,Continue reading “What is it we really want to get from drinking?”

This morning, I was pouring milk for my coffee, and the milk splattered all over the counter and down the sides of my kitchen cabinets. And I thought, “Why?!?! Why do I do these things?” What happened was that I opened the milk from the wrong side last night, and during my efforts to getContinue reading “Why?!?!”

I’m not going to lie. I would really, really like to drink some red wine tonight. I won’t, but I would love to. Not to worry – I know that I can resist the craving. It isn’t actually all that strong. The problem is just that I’m feeling a little flat. There’s nothing really wrong.Continue reading “Feeling flat”