I’m pretty excited to have reached Day 14 again. I haven’t been here for quite a while, and it feels good. Really good. Of course, as my friend Claire pointed out today (https://gettingsobernow.wordpress.com/2023/01/14/hearing-voices), the psychological cravings can really come out of nowhere right when you’re starting to feel good. (“Really, this is it? You’re never going to feel that ‘blissed out’ feeling from wine or whisky ever again?”, the addicted part of our mind says to ourselves. “That’s too much to give up! You’re going to give in eventually, might as well be now.”) It’s usually in the evening, and the way I deal with it is some nice tea, early to bed, an engrossing book or TV show, perhaps a bag of licorice, and knowing that I will be glad in the morning.
Truth is, I have been on this merry-go-round too many times before. I remember that alcohol doesn’t even give me the high that I’m actually craving. The more I actually focus on the feeling, the more I realize that 90% of the time, the buzz doesn’t feel as good as I think it should. And, of course, I want to just keep drinking to chase it. Our minds romanticize the experiences we have had before and build them into something that just isn’t true. Isn’t attainable.
And, of course, there’s the fact that alcohol is poison. Even in small amounts. And who wants just one glass of wine anyway? Not me, that’s for sure. https://www.nytimes.com/2023/01/13/well/mind/alcohol-health-effects.html
I know I am pretty vulnerable to this psychological pull, but I’m going to keep going. For anyone else reading this in the same position, keep going!!