Day 25

Gratitude. I think I should try to focus more on gratitude…

It’s Day 25, and I’m grateful that I have a sense of humor.

Automated voice: “Hello, welcome to AT&T, how can I help you?”

Me: “I would like to order new landline phone service for my mom.”

Automated voice: “I’m sorry. I can’t understand you. Please state the account number associated with this request.”

Me: “This is a new service request. There is no account number.”

Automated voice: “I’m sorry. I can’t understand you. Please state the account number associated with this request.”

Me: “I want to speak to a real person.”

Automated voice: “I hear that you would like to speak to a service representative, but in order to send you to the right place, please tell me what you are calling about.”

Me: “Landline phone service.”

Automated voice: “I’m sorry. I can’t understand you. Please state the account…”

Me: Hang up

Automated voice: “Hello, welcome to AT&T, how can I help you?”

Me: “I want to speak to a person.”

Automated voice: “I hear that you would like to speak to a service representative, but in order to send you to the right place, please tell me what you are calling about.”

Me: “New landline phone service.”

Automated voice: “What is the passcode for this account?”

Me: “There is no passcode. It is new service.”

Automated voice: “I’m sorry. I can’t understand you. Please state the account number associated with this request.”

Me: “I want to speak to an agent.”

Automated voice: “I hear that you would like to speak to a service representative, but in order to send you to the right place, please tell me what you are calling about.”

Me: “I want to speak to an agent.”

Automated voice: “OK. Let me connect you.”

Real person: “Welcome to AT&T, how can I help you.”

Me: “I would like to order new landline phone service for my mom.”

Real person: “OK. I can help you with that. What is the phone number associated with the account?”

Me: “There is no phone number. I need new service.”

Real person: “I see you are calling from a number associated with an AT&T account. What is your passcode?”

Me: I am calling from my cell phone. I want to set up a new landline service for my mom in her apartment. There is no passcode for this.”

Real person: “OK. Let me transfer you to someone who can help you with that.”

Me: “OK.”

Real person #2: “Welcome to AT&T, how can I help you.”

Me: “I would like to order new landline phone service for my mom.”

Real person #2: OK. Let me transfer you to someone who can help you with that.”

Me: “What? I was just transferred to YOU so YOU could help me with it.”

Real person #2: “I’m sorry, I am in the billing department. I need to transfer you somewhere else.”

Me: “OK.”

Real person #2: “Just a moment.”

Real person #3: “Welcome to AT&T, how can I help you.”

Me: “I would like to order new landline phone service for my mom.”

Real person: “OK. I can help you with that. What is the phone number associated with the account?”

Me: “There…is…no…phone…number…yet! This is a request for NEW landline service!”

Real person #3: “I’m sorry. This is the cell phone division. I need to send you to someone who can help you.”

Me: “OK.”

Real person #4: “Welcome to AT&T, how can I help you.”

Me: “I would like to order new landline phone service for my mom.”

Real person #4: “Does your mom want additional services with her digital phone service? High-speed internet…”

Me: “No, no, thank you. She is 87 and has dementia. I actually want traditional landline service. There is a phone jack in her room. I want to turn it on, and plug a phone into it.”

Real person #4: “I’m sorry. I can’t help with that as this is the digital phone service line. I need to transfer you to someone who can help you with that.”

Me: “PLEASE, you are the 4th person I have talked to about this, not including the automated system at the beginning. PLEASE may I have the direct number for the landline division in case I get disconnected?”

Real person #4: “Yes, it’s xxx-xxx-xxxx.”

Me: “OK. Thank you!” I am then disconnected.

Real person #5 (from direct landline division number): “Welcome to AT&T, how can I help you.” (There are distinct sounds of a raging party going on in the background and I can barely hear).

Me: “I would like to order new landline phone service for my mom. You know, plug a phone into a jack in the wall.”

Real person #5: “I’m sorry, I’m going to have to transfer you to someone else. I can’t help you with that if it is a physical landline.”

Me: “WHAT!?!?! I’m sorry – I didn’t mean to sound sharp with you. I’m just frustrated as you are the 5th person I have talked to about this, and this is supposed to be the direct landline service line.”

Real person $5: “I’m sorry. I really have to transfer you.”

Me: “OK”

Real person #6: “Welcome to AT&T, how can I help you.” 

Me: “My mom lives in an apartment. There is a landline jack in the wall, and I want to turn it on and plug a phone into it. Can you help me with this?”

Real person #6: “Yes, I would be happy to help you with that. The thing is that we are all working from home and we aren’t allowed to run credit checks from home that are necessary for traditional landline service so I am going to fill out a form, and someone will be calling you in the next 24 to 48 hours to process this. Please be aware that if you do not answer the phone when they call, they will not call back, and you will have to start this process all over again.”

Me: “OK…” (Laughing and crying at the same time.)