Argh! There’s beer in my house!

But I didn’t drink it. Yesterday, I came out of my room after finishing work for the day, and my neighbor had brought over a six pack of beer. So, here’s the thing. I have been off-again with the booze much more often than not for the past 9 1/2 months, and she knows that. My first reaction was to feel a bit put out that she didn’t ask me first before she brought it over. I felt like she should have known I might not be drinking. And then, I told her, “no, thanks, I’m not drinking now,” and she proceeded to leave the remainder of the six pack on our counter when she left. Hmmm. I suppose that’s why she didn’t realize she shouldn’t bring it over – she had no problem stopping at just one! On the other hand, I’m sure she knows that I won’t stop at one. So, there’s that.

Anyway, this is really my fault for not setting a clear-enough boundary. I need to tell her I’m not drinking for the foreseeable future. I’ve been toying with the one-year thing in my head, but it is a big commitment! Sadly, I am still having issues with committing because, despite the ugly parts of drinking, there ARE fun parts, too. I think the ugly outweighs the fun, for me, though. At least right now. And, I don’t think I gave sobriety a long-enough chance. One hundred days isn’t long enough for me.

If I am really honest, I haven’t set a clear boundary with her because I know she will be disappointed and try to talk me out of not drinking on my birthday beach getaway. She has convinced me on two other vacations to drink even though I told her I didn’t want to at first. I think she thinks I’m more fun when I’m drinking. 😦 And, in my secret heart of hearts, I want to be able to drink wine on my birthday. I can feel the wheels turning in my head already, and I know I’m setting this up so that I have an excuse to drink wine that weekend. I guess I have to face that one, and think hard about it.

I hid the beer out of sight last night, and I will return it to her today. I am just not someone that can have alcohol in the house if I don’t want to drink. In a moment of weakness, I will drink it and/or my alcoholic (but on the wagon) partner will break down and drink it.

But I’m not going to drink today! Love and support to all of you.

xoxo

Ms. New Leaf

25 thoughts on “Argh! There’s beer in my house!

  1. Well done for not drinking it. I know this sounds silly but I’m so proud for you. You’re really strong, it’s so hard when its bang smack infront of your face. And you’re right I always think of the fun times I drink. I think I romanticize them. But then I know like you there’s more ugly than fun.
    Last thing, I think your friend saying your more fun when you drink- it actually says more about them then you. I’m embarrassed to admit, I used to say the same to persuade friends into drinking with me as I wanted to get wasted. Big hugs, you’re doing awesome xxx

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    1. Thanks so much! Yes, I think you are right about that. She isn’t usually a big drinker, but she does like to get wasted sometimes. And she likes to smoke pot until she’s practically comatose. So, she probably just wants to escape in some way, and feels like she needs a partner to feel ok about it. I get that. I’ll have to address it soon. Thanks again for your lovely comment! 😘🤗

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  2. Hmmm. Yes, now that I think about it, I’ve had beer around but never in my almost 18 months sober have I had a bottle of Chardonnay, my drink of choice, in my house. I don’t know if that means I’m not “fully recovered” or that I don’t trust myself, maybe a bit of both. Or maybe, I’m just protecting my sobriety and playing it safe. At any rate, I applaud you and your honesty…and your ability to look deep down at some thoughts that are lurking. 😘

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  3. Great job not drinking it, Leafy! I know you can accomplish whatever is important to YOU. Not what’s important to someone else. Often we need to turn off or shutdown external “noise” to focus. Not always easy or comfortable..but it’s your life and you are worth it🤗. It’s all about your signature.. Ms. New Leaf😊

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  4. Way to go on not drinking it! I’m with you that I’m still in the stage that if it’s around the house, I’ll be tempted to drink it. I secretly think about how maybe one day I can not drink for months on end but then drink at a special occasion or something and then not continue drinking. I’ve gone without alcohol for long periods of time, but maybe not long enough since I’m still having these thoughts. Like you said, I’m not going to drink today, and I’m proud of myself for that!

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  5. well done not caving in to temptation. Someone gave me some lovely trappist beer recently. I looked at it then gave it to my sons. personally I have no problem with booze in the house. I want guests to be able to drink if they want and strangely I’m comforted by having a full drinks cabinet there knowing that I wont touch it. I also have built up a formidable non alcoholic drinks cabinet with many different mixers. I still want to enjoy my drinks , I just want to stay sober.X

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  6. I found it so much easier not to have alcohol in the house.
    It just takes away another layer of stress.
    You are right with boundaries. My freinds know to bring their own alcohol when they come for dinner, and take the rest home.
    Works well for all of us!
    xo
    Wendy

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  7. i believe out of everyone on here that i interact with you are the closest in comparison to how i relate to alcohol. I managed a great 1st year, and even 3 more months after that…but lately , not so much. And while i haven’t returned to the horrible pattern i used to have and have mainly done well with moderation in the sense that i limit how much is around on “those” nights, i still get the niggling feelings of guilt and it often upsets me if i have a plan in place but someone else ( unintentionally) kind of messes it up. For instance- I KNOW that if i have more than 3 , i will drink whatever else comes around..until i get sick or pass out or its gone. So i plan on a 6 pack to split with someone.. but then, at times, someone brings more around and its just..well..here we go again. For the first time ever i had to call off work the next night because of a hangover this past saturday. Even at the height of my drinking i never had to call off sick..but because someone brought extra v=beer unexpectedly and i cant stop, it happened..what an eye opener!

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  8. also i might mention that i am feeling somewhat out of the loop on here with my previous support because of this..only a handful of people who used to interact with me do so now..i cannot help but feel and added sense of guilt in that regard .but i am grateful that all of you are still around in some capacity as i, like other alcoholics, will never be cured. I will always need support , no matter how much i may want to believe other wise…hugs!!

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