Counting Days Again

It has been 21 days now since the last time I decided to drink. Yes, I’ve decided to count days again. I had set a new goal of staying off alcohol completely until at least my 50th birthday, and I was feeling strong enough in my intention that I didn’t think I needed to count days. Until last night. All of a sudden, I almost ordered wine last night.

The craving was very seductive. I was saved only by the fact that I had so firmly made up my mind about my goal. I reminded myself that, in the morning, I would be happy I didn’t drink a bottle of wine. I don’t even pretend that it would be only a glass or two. If I drink, I know I’m drinking the whole bottle. Maybe my neighbor might get a glass … maybe … but even so, the rest would be for me. I didn’t drink, but it seems prudent to add another layer of accountability to bolster my resolve.

As I was going back through my online receipts to confirm my last day, I remembered that I had ordered booze several times in the week and a half before the last day. I am so grateful that some kind of subconscious warning bell must have gone off in my head. I’m actually amazed that I didn’t just keep going at that point. In the past, I would have, and I would be drinking every night by now. I feel like something has definitely shifted in me. I don’t want to go back there. Yet, it still feels precarious enough that I need to make it more solid.

So, I’m sitting here in my favorite chair, drinking a black cherry sparking water, and watching the fog slowly envelop the houses on the hillside outside of my window. Feeling good at day 21.

Wishing you all love and support.

xoxo

Ms. New Leaf

20 thoughts on “Counting Days Again

  1. Whatever works for you, Leafy. Accountability is good! I also find it’s helpful when those seductive cravings surface to just ask yourself what would the positive, or benefit, be from drinking? And I can never find anything. You’re doing great! 👍🏻🥰

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  2. Hi Leafy, with all my recent absences I hadn’t realised you had had a little slip up. Easily done. I was nearly there a few weeks ago. In the garden, sunshine, seeing images of people enjoying wine, reminiscing- yep all seductive until you remind yourself that some of us aren’t like other drinkers. We’re gulpers for whatever reason and alcohol ends up messing up our lives. 21 days – that’s brilliant. I suppose its putting it down to experience and getting strength from that. Onwards and upwards Leafy! Jim x

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  3. Hi Leafy. Can I just say, your attitude and approach to this is awesome. Yes, you have drank but you are keeping going and continuing on your journey, which is a different journey for everyone of us here. You haven’t given up and I LOVE that about you. Focus on moving forward… good luck. 21 days is brilliant. 😘💕 Claire x

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  4. I’m like you, I don’t even kid myself that I’m not having the whole bottle once it’s open. Wine is a seductive little minx but like someone already said here, I try to ask myself how I will be better off from opening a bottle, and there’s never a good answer.

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  5. I like your thinking! I did “Dry January” and it completely changed my life. So much wonderful support here! I have had bumps in the road since but I just learn from them and move forward. I love that I got away from daily drinking!

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  6. Being honest with ourselves is confronting. Knowing yourself that yes you won’t stop at two glasses, thinking about the consequences and outcomes playing in your head is good practice.
    Taking the time to watch the fog roll in from your favourite chair is a lovely image.
    21 days is awesome😁Keep going.

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  7. Yay Leafy !!!! Happy 21 days 🙂 Like Claire, I’m really admirative of your mindset and attitude – it seems like the all or nothing/black and white type thinking that (at least for me) is linked to addiction has gone and you’re able to know yourself and keep your mind focused without letting guilt in through the back door. You know what you want in life!!! Much respect and big hugs ❤ xxx Anne

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