WARNING! RANT AHEAD!
Where I live, we are officially in lockdown again – no outings unless it is for an essential errand like the grocery store, no gatherings with anyone outside of your household, and no unessential travel. Anyone coming into our county has to strictly quarantine in their house or hotel for 10 days – no trips to the grocery store, even. This sucks, but it is for an excellent reason. For the first time during the pandemic, our hospitals are on the very precipice of being overrun by the coronavirus. We have very few ICU beds left, and the doctors and nurses are exhausted. Because I live with a chronic cancerous condition, I am glad that our region is taking the risks so seriously. I really don’t want to land in the ICU at this moment, especially since a vaccine will likely be available to me sometime in the next few months.
Despite our region’s early compliance with coronavirus restrictions, many now seem to just not care as much. I guess we are all tired of it, but now is not the time to let down our guard! Of the 6 people on my team at work, 4 of them are traveling to another region during the holiday, a region that has itself banned all incoming vacationing because so many people are flooding the area from outside. And a 5th said she was going to go after hearing about the other 4’s plans. Is it any wonder that our curve is still rising, no sign of flattening in sight, given that people are so fucking selfish that they think only of their own short-term happiness? Everyone thinks they are being safe enough, but clearly, many are not nearly as safe as they think.
At least, I work remotely and will not interact with my team in person until a vaccine is available. What does one do, though, when someone in your household bubble doesn’t seem to give a shit about following the guidelines strictly? We are two families that live in one house and have been functioning as one household during this whole pandemic. This has saved our sanity and allowed our children to have, at least, each other to play with. They have asthma, and one is a cancer survivor, so they feel at risk, too. We have agreed-upon rules of conduct, but one of the four adults just isn’t as careful as the rest of us, especially since the general population seems to have thrown in the towel. And, now, she decided – against the wishes of all of the rest of us – to drive to another city to see her mother before Christmas. Now, I know that her mother is also extremely careful as well, but I just don’t really feel comfortable with that. And, now I am in the position of having to decide if we are going to all still have Christmas together when she returns, or if we are going to have to quarantine them, including my daughter’s only playmate. And my friend’s response, when I told her how I feel, was that “she really wanted us to all have Christmas together, but if we can’t, we can’t.” My feelings are really hurt, but I suppose it is even harder for her wife (who also was ignored when she said she didn’t feel comfortable with the trip).
Aaarrgh! Well, at least I have a clear head and can think about the situation without the scary funhouse mirror perspective of alcohol. That’s the rational side of me. The other side wants to say “fuck it” and use this as an excuse to drink and not worry about it for a while. But I won’t. I have enough time invested, now, to know that the rational side is the one to listen to.
OK. Rant over. If you made it this far, thanks for listening.
xoxo
Ms. New Leaf
Leafy this absolutely sucks I’m so sorry 🤗. I think unfortunately the virus, whilst has shown kindness in some, has also shown selfishness in others. My SD mixes quite freely in her other household, seeing friends, family you name it. We’ve taken the decision not to spend xmas with anyone as we dont want to be responsible for passing on anything. Especially when she is such a risk. The best advice I’ve been given is, you can’t control other people only your reaction. Assess your boundaries and what feels right for you and your family. Love to you ♡♡♡
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Thanks so much. Yeah, that is definitely the only thing one can do in this situation. It is good advice. That is also a really hard situation with your SD. That would make me totally crazy. xoxo
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It does 😂😂 hence most of the angst on here ♡♡ always here if you need to talk
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What an awful situation for you. These situations are so tough, when you fundamentally morally disagree with a friend and someone you are close to. I hope you manage to work it out and well done for not drinking. Some people here are also not taking the rules seriously and I find it totally frustrating. I personally feel more anxious and at risk now than I have done since March. Xxx
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Thanks, Claire. I’m pretty anxious about it, too. I think it is because the risk is real.
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Yes to the above.
I am so glad you spoke up!
Some of my family, who all live in another state, do not take it seriously either.
They gathered for Thanksgiving, and many of them got Covid, luckily not seriously. However, my older sisiter and husband, who are over 70 with health conditions are going to see them all at Christmas.
I was invited, but no way am I traveling especially while taking care of my 95 year old mom.
xo
Wendy
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Yes- that makes sense to me. let’s just all try to make it through to next holiday season!
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I’m so sorry. This is happening over and over everywhere, covid putting strain on all sorts of relationships. I’m sooooo weary of the covid safety conversations. Especially after this week (see my latest blog – my daughter ended up testing positive so now we’re in a real fucking mess as a blended family) ….. I have just tried to adopt a “it’s out of my control, and I cannot control other people (outside of stating my disagreement or pointing out clear illogical arguments) …. otherwise I’d be angry like, all the time.
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Oh no! I’m sorry that is happening with your family, and I hope your daughter has a mild case. I’m going to go read your blog entry now.
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not sure where you are located but our state went into lockdown again last week until january. It’s so frustrating. I’m caught between “i have to work outside the home, my roommates & BF also work outside the home” ( so theres so much risk no matter what i do) and “How the hell do i deal with all of the risks without quitting my job and locking myself in my room?”.It’s an impossible situation. I wear the masks when i am told to, social distance when possible, and constantly wash my hands and sanitize everything. Outside of that, i feel powerless.Pretty much i just work eat and TRY to sleep. I rarely socialize- have only been out twice since it started for very brief time frames. But, i have to get groceries, gas, deposit any cash i receive, and get to appointments that aren’t online like vision and dental. So, it’s just a rock & hard place.I truly believe it’s the underlying reason ( stress) for much of my insomnia and pain issues. Big sigh.
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and the two times i was out was a small hand fasting ceremony outdoors with masks and distancing and one family dinner this weekend ( under 10 of us).It’s just so damn tough to not EVER see or be around a few family members, etc. I just almost give up.
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Yeah, I hear that. I am fortunate because I live with my partner and child so I don’t feel totally apart from family. It is all so hard! 🤗
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Totally agree with everything you said! Sorry you are in that very frustrating situation. We have been very careful here and Christmas will just be us 4, same as Thanksgiving. People are “popping” up with it around me. I’m just being as cautious as I can and hoping that gets our family through safety. My mom lives about an hour away. She’s 74 and has COPD. It would be rough for her if she got sick. Christmas Eve we are driving to their house, standing outside/social distancing with our masks on for a brief Merry Christmas verbal exchange. So weird but the safest thing to do. Thinking of you all for sure!
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We are going to do the same with my mom. Stand outside her window at her assisted living place, and call her on the phone. Yes. Weird, but safe.
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