Six Months!

Posted bymsnewleafPosted inquitting drinking

I did it! Today is Day 183 in my (continuous days of) not drinking adventure! Six whole months. Pretty crazy. And wonderful.

At this point, it feels easy to stay on track. I have some days where I think about drinking, but not seriously. It just doesn’t grab hold of me like it used to (grab hold and forcefully propel me to the corner store!). For example, last night, I was feeling a bit off somehow. Disgruntled. We have been changing our yard to create some much-needed usable outdoor space. It used to be a sort of jungle-y tangle of weeds and previously planned and overgrown plantings, and now, it is very clean and angular and unfamiliar. I’m slowly getting used to it … but last night, I was worried it was a lot of money and effort for a product I didn’t like. And that feeling of regret led immediately to “Wouldn’t some whisky really mellow this feeling out now?” thoughts. I’m pretty embarrassed to admit that such trivial First World problems would make me feel this way, but they did. Ugh. I’m blushing just thinking about it. Anyway … my point is that these feelings were easy to push away because I know that I don’t want to go back to where I was two Novembers ago before I started this journey. When I wanted at least 4-5 glasses of wine pretty much every night. I know that if I were to drink now, there’s no way I just want one (how ridiculous!). I would have to commit to either getting drunk or stopping but wanting to be drunk the whole time. Yeah, I don’t want that.

In other news, I feel like I have been coming out of a terrible funk I shared with the whole world in January. The I’m-so-trapped-by-COVID-I’m-going-insane funk. Things are improving, slowly but surely, and my little self-improvement projects help. I’m still doing yoga most days. I have to take a couple of days off every week or so or my knees just can’t take it, but I can tell that I’m getting stronger. And that makes me want to keep going. I am also still chipping away at my house projects, but I’ve gone back to eating sugar. I’d like to improve my diet more, but I’m just not up for it right now. A piece of cake is just so much more fun to look forward to than a big bowl of kale. But, I’ll try to have the kale, too. 😊

The day is sunny and beautiful. Perhaps I’ll go sit in my new yard and try to imagine it more like a jungle and less like a mini-golf course. Sigh.

Sending many hugs and much love to all of you!

xoxo

Ms. New Leaf

23 thoughts on “Six Months!”

  1. Firstly … huge congrats to you on 6 mths. I know you have been at this much longer in reality and all the more kudos to you for getting back on track and keeping going!

    Sorry to hear about the yard. You were so excited. I felt a bit the same about ours when we removed everything. It looked so clinical and bare but I have planted and I’m so excited to add more and make it pretty this spring. Well done for not reaching for the booze. We seem to go through so much of the same stuff you and I!!
    I noticed today that it was lighter here at 5pm which filled me with gratitude that spring is coming and Jan is over. Let’s hope things improve and we feel less trapped xxx

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    1. Yes! Spring is coming, and the garden will get better with time. And we just sat out there in the evening light, and it was lovely. And there weren’t masses of spiders like there usually are. Xx

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  3. Congratulations, I’m so proud of you. You’ve smashed it. The same happened to us. We did our garden and I hated it. It took maybe 1 or 2 summers of planting lots of plants and having loads of pots for me to like it again. I think it’s now all cleared for you to put your own stamp on it. Maybe a jungle corner? ♡♡

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  6. Awesome on 6 months!!!!!! I’m very glad to have found you on here!
    I used to do a big garden and then we got a greenhouse. Totally in love with it! It’s big but just a plastic one. I’d love a fancier one but that’s not going to happen. 😂 I’m going to plant my zucchini and squash in the ground though. Can’t wait until here I can start it!

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  7. When I feel grumpy about my house sometimes I go “fantasy house hunting” online. I only look at houses we can “afford”. After about an hour of this I start thinking our house looks pretty good in the scheme of things. Plus moving is horrible.

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  8. Congratulations to you, Leafy! This was wonderful to read. It sounds like you have a really great mindset, and that you’re being gentle with yourself. I’d rather have the cake than kale too friend…something is always as struggle I guess. I’m really proud of you!!💕

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      1. You are such a kind and loving person to know on here and I am so grateful to you. ❤️ Btw I too have a bit given up on my winter diet plans (lol, what kind of masochists are we??) and yes I feel the same about the “only one glass, what for???” mentality. Wish it were different but ah well. Can be very happy without it too, like you. :)) The yard will grow wild again on its own, and/or it was a necessary process by the sounds of it… I say love yourself for it. :))

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