I woke up this morning with a splitting headache, and it reminded me of waking up with a miserable hangover. I’m so glad this one is just because 1) I need to get a new pillow, and 2) I had horrible ongoing nightmares last night so I had a crappy night’s sleep. I think the ongoing chaos in the outside world is starting to get to me. The escalating virus crisis, the logistical barriers we are facing to efficient, widespread vaccination, and the political powder keg we seem to be sitting on here in the U.S. must be getting to me. The dream — which kept restarting after I would wake, feel relieved, and then fall asleep again — was a really obvious one about existential threats. My subconscious is not that subtle.
On the other hand, it’s a beautiful, sunny day outside, and I’m lazing around in my bed still with all the windows open and birds chirping up a storm. So far, I have no plans to get up any time soon. I’m getting a rare moment to myself as my family is downstairs adventuring in another world together (playing video games). So, the present moment is not so bad!
It is also Day 162 in my alcohol-free adventure. Getting closer to that 6-month mark! I can’t believe I’m really doing this. I won’t lie and say that I never think about drinking. I do, but I am really seeing some inner progress now. I’m on a roll! I am way more stable in the face of external chaos (crazy dream notwithstanding!), and I am making a LOT of headway in projects that have been on my back burner for so long. Some of the bigger questions about my life are still out there, hanging around unresolved, BUT I think, just maybe, I will see my way clear to resolving them eventually. In the meantime, I’m trying to focus on the things I am able to change right now. And that’s enough.
Update on my January resolutions: I’m working my way through my list of items to do. I’ve discovered that some of the items can’t be completed yet, and some of the items can’t be accomplished in one day. So, I’ve adjusted my plan to include just putting in some time on a project each day. It’s working out well. I’m also doing yoga nearly every day. So far, every day hasn’t happened, but I’ve only missed two days in the last 16. Not bad! I’m pretty proud of myself. I did have a breakdown in my sugar resolve on days 10 and 11, but I’m back on it now. The key is getting back up when you fall down!
With much love and support to all of you,