I’m not going to lie. I would really, really like to drink some red wine tonight. I won’t, but I would love to. Not to worry – I know that I can resist the craving. It isn’t actually all that strong. The problem is just that I’m feeling a little flat. There’s nothing really wrong. I’m just bored and unsatisfied. I went back to work yesterday (after a lovely 12 day break with very few serious cravings), and I always used to transition into cozy home mode with a few glasses of wine after work in the evening. It makes helping with homework better. It makes fixing dinner better. It just fills in the boring bits so nicely. And now I don’t have it, and things are just flat.
Once I crawl into bed and snuggle down with a book, I know I’ll feel better. Unfortunately, my sort-of sister in-law is coming over for a visit, and we have a complicated relationship. She’s just not that much fun for me to be around because, while she’s “nice” on the surface, it is impossible to talk to her about anything real. And she has a lot of barely concealed anger just seething under the surface all of the time. Damn. I hear her downstairs now. I have to go greet her soon or be thought rude.
Anyway – I’ll be great in the morning. I always am. And I know enough now to know that it isn’t worth it to throw that away for one night of wine. Day 42!