Day Twenty-One: The monster within

Writing out the numbers of my days is getting tedious. But this is how I started, so I must continue. My OCD won’t let me change it now. After the 30 days are up, though, all bets are off.

Anyway, unfortunately, this is the 3rd day where I have desperately wanted to drink after work. There is a monster in my head, and it does not want just one glass. Oh, no, it is screaming something like (it has a foul mouth), “DAMN IT! GET ME A FUCKING BOTTLE OF WINE! RIGHT NOW BECAUSE I’M GOING TO DRINK THE WHOLE FUCKING THING!” That is what it was sounding like in my head all the way to the train, on the train platform, then back up the stairs and back to my office to get my phone, back down the street to the train, on the train, and as I walked up the street. I thought about how I was going to write about it the whole way home. And then, I felt a little better. It is still in there, but it has been somewhat subdued by the bag of candy I fed it.

Don’t worry. I’m NOT going to drink. There’s really no danger of that today. Yesterday, I stated publicly (here) that I am going to go at least 100 days without drinking so there is NO WAY I am going to let that monster win. Just out of sheer stubbornness. See you tomorrow.

4 thoughts on “Day Twenty-One: The monster within

  1. Good for you. And grabbing that candy was the best thing that you could have done! With the booze gone, our body craves those calories. Candy really helps with that. That’s why I’m drinking Ginger Ale with Pom juice most evenings, to get some of that missed sugar into my system. It really does help with the cravings. Carry the candy with you during the day! When the craving starts, eat some and see if that helps! I bet it will, at least a little anyway.

    And counting each day out to 30 isn’t OCD at all. You’re counting daily HEROIC victories!! Quitting the drink has been the most difficult thing I’ve ever done in my life. I also count it as the greatest accomplishment I’m ever done. That may sound pathetic to an outsider, but it isn’t at all for those of us who KNOW.

    Bravo to you. Keep going hon! ((((hugs)))) πŸ™πŸ’œ

    Liked by 1 person

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